Love gone deadly?

A lot of my problems seem to have been caused by two dykes, who I was a little acquainted with way back, but had felt it appropriate not to get too involved with. Why get involved with women who are staunchly separatist? They were focused on politics also, but weren’t involved in anything that I was interested in.

The problem however was that one started to play romance games with me, not greatly different to what I knew, and had enjoyed with heterosexual women only. That had mostly been – silly hippie-style courtship, quick in the hello, followed by temporary marriage, until it got too difficult. That usually as a result of not taking enough time over the hello part – “If it feels good do it” was the convenient slogan.

So, this dyke, with spook parents, a fact that wasn’t considered enough at the time, seems to want a normal hetero relationship again. I’d seen her do it well enough, so thought I would continue helloing her, and try and talk about all the things that should be considered, getting it right for once. She seemed to agree and we had a quite intense communication off and on over about 4 and 1/2 years. A major question for me was something like – did she just want to use me to get a kid, and chuck me in the bin a bit later? The women’s movement was well organised by then and men’s response was not. I didn’t feel I would necessarily have equal power in the relationship. So schmuckie here decides to somehow sort that in the hello. Equal power in marriage still does seem a worthwhile and achievable goal for some at least. I had to be clear on what I wanted and definitely not interested in just being used as was often happening at the time, and still is today. My attitude being – do one thing or the other thanks, and I’m not interested in the other, sorry. Get an anonymous donor perhaps?

The communication with her had a few brief impromptu encounters in it, pleasant enough I thought, and a few deliberate encounters, mostly also pleasant. Despite my reservations, I couldn’t resist from getting into the fantasy of a very enjoyable relationship, and nor could she it seemed.

Somewhere in this process weird stuff started to happen, which strengthened my reservations about this new and slightly unknowable creature. I felt her presence around me often, and was also drawn to visit her for a chat without invitation, which she mostly seemed to enjoy too. But, I would also wake up in the night and find her spirit lying beside me. That was a bit freaky. I just wanted this courtship faze to be over, one way or another. However, she made it clear to me that some of her friends were against us getting together. After over four years this was getting frustrating in the extreme and was made worse by what had grown into a savage character assassination by innuendo campaign pointed at me from local media. At the time I thought the entire establishment was down on me. And, in hindsight, seemingly in a potentially sueable way. I recently went into the library, where this happened, to check out that opinion. But I found the newspaper records for that time not available, although others before and after that time were. That campaign continued for many years and in many media. It had a devastating and permanent impact on my life. Such innuendo from up on high is very difficult to understand, or to counter, especially for a social retard.

That all made me even more keen to finish the courtship. The innuendo campaign seemed to be connected to our hello, and the only way to out smart it was convince her to elope. Maybe they would get used to the idea when it was too late to stop I fantasized. It had become a painfully drawn out hello, and obviously I didn’t know what I was getting so involved with. Was she doing witchcraft on me? Was she aware of her spirit floating my way at night? What the fuck was going on? I wanted to either get it on or off. Enough ‘maybe’ helloing thanks.

Then she tells me that she is going overseas for work and will catch up with me later. “Oh, no! This is going to drag out even more, forever even.” I decided I had to find a way to make her make up her mind, in or out, before she went away. It seemed also that she might be going off with someone else really, and leaving me in the lurch without a clear ending. I had to do something to make it finish one way or the other, and soon.

I got it into my head to give her a fright. So I visited her early one morning when she was in bed still, and bit her on the neck, not very hard, probably just a little bit of redness resulted. I didn’t want to actually hurt her. And I made sure not to touch her otherwise, so there could be no question of a rape attempt, I naively thought. She yelled ‘What are you doing?’ And I left saying ‘I just wanted to give you a fright’. Well that was distressing for me too, but it did work. She left, and it was seemingly over, and her spirit no longer with me. This was preferable to still being ‘maybe’. I did think though for a bit that she was going to visit me with a re-joinder that might be something more engaging and resolving. But no, it was over and her presence in my life was gone. I was a bit thankful for that, and got on with other things.

But then far worse targeting than I ever experienced before started to happen. The brain implant and permanent mind invasion was the worst part of that. At the time it didn’t seem related to the badly ended romance, but maybe it was in retrospect. The innuendo campaign continued and many other covert assaults too. It wasn’t until I started to turn the tables on all that, that her presence started to be felt in my life again. She started to play me as before, I would wake up in the night with her spirit lying beside me, and also have her entraining my mind in a way I can not shake. And now it is also by another person who seems to be her dyke lover from wayback, who she still seems to have a strong connection with, and whom I had assumed was out of the picture. I have had a few discussions with them in this forced telepathic communication. It seems they did have a pact in place to get my ‘true love’ there pregnant and maybe share me, or if I objected, sex slave was being set up. She had been playing it every which way, whilst I was just trying to be straight and get on with a career. She was exploring heterosexual romance and also keeping her dyke friend happy with the other hideous fantasy. The main thing I enjoy about their forced mind entrainment now is the opportunity to tell them both what fuckwits I think they are.

They are both worried that I might identify them. She is often locked on to my mind, especially when writing this. I have expressed regret about the assault, and she just laughs about it, as she seemed to do at the time. Over the years since I have often felt bad about that event, but am also glad it led to the end of such an excruciatingly difficult courtship. And, I had written to her apologising earlier, but received no reply, so concluded it was largely in the past.

However, she is now back for around four years now, and if I mention her name here, she will sue me, and use all her vast spook connections to destroy me, eat my cock and capture my spirit in her aura. She says she has done it to ten men, but they keep getting away. It is revealed that she wasn’t much nicer way back in the courtship time either. She admits to the poison I got in some dope before meeting her even, and many other attacks since. I wasn’t entirely deluded though, she is a type of multiple personality not so well known. I had fallen for the one that liked being a heterosexual. Enough for now.

love gone, gone, gone.